: Caroline insists they can’t sleep on "peasant rags" and tracks down a 1000-thread-count sheet sale in a sketchy basement.

: They get trapped in the warehouse during a flash flood, forced to use the high-end linens to stay dry.

: A midnight tug-of-war ends in a giant tear down the middle of their only "good" fitted sheet.

$2,450.35 (Down $10 because Max spent the sheet money on a deep-fried Twinkie while waiting in line.) To help me flesh this out further: Specific themes? A particular customer mishap at the diner? Any Oleg double entendres involving thread count?

: "Caroline, I grew up sleeping on a pizza box. This rip is just built-in air conditioning."